Getting Clear about Goals, Targets, Objectives and Intentions

This piece was written back in July…. sometime within the first two weeks of July. I found my way back to it today and decided to share it…

Something stirs within me when I hear goals. Something that resists and shuts down, something blocks off.

And as I read my own wisdom, from April 20, 2018 in book 22:

“In order to shift

I have to not fight the way it is

It is bringing a new possibility

Present.”

Something is here and it has gotten my attention.

This idea, this notion of goals and objectives. Of going somewhere and achieving.  It is the achieving piece that gives the sensation in the chest. To achieve, which is connected to worthiness and being worthy of achieving anything, of standing out, of being successful. I hear, get back in line. Stand down, it is faint, and yet I hear it. It is here, lingering. It’s presence is known.

On Wednesday, when I printed the first edition of Inner Wisdom, In Her Wisdom and held it my hands for the first time, out from the pages of my journals and off of the electronic device and into my hands so it can get into the hands of others, I felt called to listen to Eve and Gwen Stefani’s Let Me Blow Ya Mind.

While these were the lyrics that drew me in:

Now I got my foot in the door

And I ain’t going no where

It took a while to get me here

Now I am going to take my time

…..

Let me blow your mind

Another line stood out when I listened this time:

This one hot should be labeled as a hazard

A hazard. Because I have been seen, been perceived of as being a hazard. Folks have seen me as a threat. Me being me as a threat, so I have shut off pieces of me to dim and not be so strong. Until recently and now it is coming on strong to show up and to share.

And it is happening naturally.

One day in May I woke and felt called to sit and draft an email to my publisher saying, you have come into my field of awareness and I am sending you these parts of my book.  It was not an official goal that I set. I did not set a deadline, a date that said, by this time or on this day I will send my book to my publisher. No. I woke and was moved to sit and get the work done to press send and I did. 

Events have been unfolding and making it clear to me that I am meant to hold space for myself. I am good at holding space for others, but when I comes time for me to hold space for myself, I cut it short or fill it with other things that feel like obligations or in some way more important. When I say it has become clear for me, I mean that moments are being presented to show up for myself, to speak up for myself and to hold the space and I am exploring what this means.  So, on Wednesday I held this space and printed off In Her Wisdom.

Is that a goal? I have always known that I am going to write a book and recently in the past year it has become clear that I am meant to share my story with others. Am I exploring this notion of goals and objectives now that this time is upon me? Am I meant to be moving in this direction rather than trusting the innate knowing of time and the subtle invitation of the inner knowing?

It, at times feels like I am battling between these two.

Am I being invited to set goals and objectives?

Am I being invited to trust the inner knowing?

Is a combination of the two or more?

It is the action piece. What is relevant is the action, the action that is taken. And the time feels relevant too.  When to act. When to step.

And I remind myself that I have always heeded the call when it is necessary.  And in these moments, it does not feel like work. It does not feel like there is thought and a battle is not there. Actually, no thought is there, only a knowing to act, a knowing to do, a knowing that the time is ripe and what is relevant is the step.

Which I have taken. Which I will continue to take. And as I do, I humbly ask:

Please offer guidance and sign to affirm and confirm that I am headed the direction of dharma and alignment