Simply Being Me
This is the second in the series of questions posed by my aunt.
What was the greatest service you performed or contribution you made in 2020?
These questions have me giggling because I notice my initial thoughts of wanting to glorify and gain elevated status for service I have done. Of course this thought is perceived and projected, it is not actually true. Laughing, I pause, asking myself, why does that matter, what is driving me to want to say that. Really, what is the desire, the agenda, the push to share from that space, it is a perception, a thought, all of it is on the level of thought and that is not the place from which I choose to respond.
I am myself. I am me. Yes, it is that simple, my act of service is being me. No more, no less. Simply being me.
Me being me looks different and varies as I adapt and respond to the need of each moment. This is a journey, a shift, a process one that is inviting me to be comfortable embracing being me. To do this, I have to be aware of the conditions I have placed and have allowed to be placed on me, and some of them are so deeply ingrained that I have forgotten what it truly means to be me. For me, being me, means listening to my inner self and acting, interacting, responding from a place of knowing rather than a feeling of need, should or what if. It is a conscious action of giving permission and of allowing. To be me, the authentic real me, I have to notice the fear that has been and sometimes still is behind my actions, the fear that binds me, the fear that I have allowed to drive and define me. I acknowledge this fear and have the courage to say no longer, no more, I am not living from this place any more. To be me, requires me to break free of the stories I have been told, the narratives that have become familiar and known. In being me, I am here, present in the moment. Not inviting the past into this moment and not leaving this moment to conjure what may happen in the future.
I am here now. For when I leave here, I am no longer here, I am then there, somewhere else in the past or the future, no longer in the moment.
I contribute to each moment by being present. For when I am present, I am being me. Simply being me. No more. No less. Simply being me.