Always Opportunities to Learn

Sattva, the space itself, provides so many opportunities to see, to grow, to learn.  This opportunity came for me the same day I was presented with the opportunity to see my desire for ownership- when I claimed my chair and my mat.

This opportunity came during lunch.

I went to the Sangha café to meet up with Lisa for lunch (yes, it is the same Lisa from the chair story, she is a special one, a beloved of mine). She was in a conversation and as I stepped closer to her, her gaze remained fixed to the person she was talking to so I decided to leave and go to Annapura Café where I usually eat (folks in 200 hrs ate at Annapura, folks in 300 hrs ate in Sangha).

I took off my shoes, dropped my bag and stepped toward the door to the café where I learned that there was no food.  Yes, I thought, I was supposed to eat at Sangha Café today.

I began walking slowly toward Sangha Café with people, feet and anxious conversation right behind me. I heard someone say, “people must be hungry, I hope they didn’t run out of food.” “How could they not make enough?” While listening to this I am thinking, “why are they coming from a place of scarcity, do they really think there is not going to be food for us to eat?”

Arriving at Sangha Café, I take off my shoes, dropped my bag and entered.  I lifted the metal thali plate and stepped forward in the line. Food is served like a buffet, with access at this Café to the serving dishes on both sides.  Folks were standing, which indicated that they were waiting for more food to come out from the kitchen and be placed in the serving dish. Someone came out of the kitchen saying in a joking way, “No one wants to eat the boiled vegetables?” There were raw veggies, boiled veggies and then there was a cauliflower, eggplant and potato dish. There was very little of the cauliflower dish.  The person in front of me, who happened to be one of the folks who was walking behind me on the way to the café scooped some of the cauliflower dish on his plate while calling to the kitchen, “are you bringing more?” While waiting, he began to eat what he placed on his plate.  There was a girl behind me who was asking me if I was moving, to which I responded yes. In my mind I thought, what is the rush?

I scooped the raw veggies and placed them on my plate and saw a scoop of the cauliflower dish in the pan. I knew the man in front of me had some, the woman on the other side of the buffet had some, and we knew the kitchen was bringing more out. Knowing this, I thought, I can eat this. So, I turned to the woman behind me and asked, “Are you okay if I take this, they are bringing more out.”  She agreed and said yes. As I began taking the last scoop, the man turned around and said to me “you’re going to take that?”

 I laughed out loud, the kind of laugh that is not totally kind, the kind of laugh where you are thinking, are you kidding me. I got pissed. “Yes,” I said. I continued, this time explaining and feeling the need to justify, “I’m not just taking it without being mindful of who is around me. I asked if she was okay with me taking it,” and the woman behind me nodded her head in agreement, verifying that yes, I had asked and yes, she was okay.

What is it with scarcity?

Why not accept the food that was there, that was provided for you? Was that not enough?

The whole moment made me pause, it provided me an opportunity to reflect. I felt that being snapped at, making an assumption, one that said I was not aware of my surroundings.  Or maybe it had nothing to do with him and it had everything to do with me. Things are interesting like that, how we view things are based on our  perceptions. How the events unfolded to me, are how I portrayed the events here.  Maybe others perceived them in a different way. 

I went to sit by the river to enjoy lunch.  As I was about to sit down, I saw three monkeys stand and begin to approach me. I knew from experience that if I stayed, they would approach me and I wanted to actually eat my lunch. I rose, walked back up the stairs and chose to sit on a bench near a Hanuman murti.

I wrote this in my journal:

The cauliflower dish, was, oh my!  The first bite! Yes, please. The flavor rich and sweet. Melted on my tongue.

Sattva has a way of presenting moments to me, so I can see. As I ate, a caterpillar crawled on my toe.  Of course it did, another reminder to grow, to evolve and to transcend!

Grateful for this one.

In love and light,

Sara

P.S. Two days after this experience, a butterfly found its way in to my life…