Hear Me Roar — sara lynn lashbrook

It is time for this to be shared… It has been referenced in a few previous pieces…. Here it is now…

I am this.

I am this baggage that I carry around

I am a sum of all of my parts

Complete

Whole

Inclusive

Not leaving anything out

For I am these experiences

That shape and mold me

How I see

Perceive

And understand this world

that I create

From these experiences

I am the sum of all of my parts

Every thought you have had of me is my truth, every perception you have had of me is me,

is my truth

Yes, this is what makes me alive

This is how I am alive

This is how I stay alive

In the images of your mind

The perception you hold of me

This is how I breathe

this is what fuels my fire,

That which is the kindling

It is not mine, it is yours

It is not true to me yet it is true to you, so it is here,

Out here vibrationally out here and I pick it up,

I receive it, not to own it

To transcend

Yes

To transcend it to transcend it

Here for me to see exactly what I am not

Fuel that propels me to see exactly who I am

to know exactly who I am

from this

through this

I have walked through the fire

The fire of hate, hurt, projection,

The vision of me that you have

The one that is weak, needs to be fixed

That something is wrong, that I am not okay

Yes, it is through these ideas and thoughts that you have of me

That I have become alive

Fueled by the fire inside

Enlivened by the fire inside

Kindled by your views, perceptions

Your projection of me

Fueled by this fire inside

Everything that has been said to me, of me

Every story

Every lie

There is truth to it all

I welcome it and claim it

Accept it

For this, this, this,

Your very being, your very thoughts

Is the fuel that burns this fire

Kindling, tending to the spark that has always been here

That is gaining power and strength

Gaining power

Gaining strength

Hear me roar

For I come from warriors

Women who are strong, so strong they are feared

There very presence causes threat

And as our very being

We are silenced

We are shunned

We are hidden

We are ostracized

We are ignored

We are burned

I am here claiming this strength

This power of these women who have come,

Who have stood before me

Who have been silenced

Out of fear

And here I am

I am here

Using my voice

For those who have not had one

For those who have been hidden

For those who have had to hide

From fear

Fear of being hurt

Because they are themselves

they have covered themselves up

Layer by layer

Becoming invisible to some

And with each layer

Becoming more visible to themselves

With each projection, with each dump placed on them

They say themselves

THANK YOU

They rose

We rise

Don’t you see

Do you not see how

You have contributed to this, us

You have provided the fuel for this fire

For this fire to burn

To roar

Step close

Hear this sound

Feel this heat

Experience me fully

All that you have done to snuff me out

The water that has been poured, the shit that has been dumped

Thank You

You have contributed to me

You have made me

For I have never gone out

Never lost my spark

never stopped glowing

This ember inside has been kindled by the womb in which I reside

the womb of all great mothers who have come before me

And this is the birth,

This birth

Loud

Warm

Entering with a roar

You cannot ignore me now.

For I have gained momentum

I have walked the path

My head is held high

I am not alone

I do not walk alone

I walk among

I see you

I see you hidden and cowering

I see you because I know this

I know this

I know the hurt, the pain

To turn your face away from yourself

Because you are too much for the others to bear

Because you do not fit with their idea of who you should be

I know this

And here, now, I take this back

I use this fuel to add to my roar

I am this roar

What you didn’t know was that I was silently receiving

Using this to gain strength

To gain momentum

Like the force of a wave, backed by the whole ocean

With each word, each action,

Every rejection

Every projection

I gained access to my self

Access to my true self

This strength

is strong

This knowing

is powerful

That I alone can break these chains of bondage

These shackles that have bound and constrained me

The very things you were trying to do was the very things that made me

Don’t you see

I cannot be ignored

I cannot be silenced

I cannot be hidden

I am meant to be here

To be me

For all the world to see

Yes, this is how I breathe

I am this song carried by the wind

The whisper you hear

The whisper you ignore

I am this

Gaining strength

With each dejection

With every turn of the head

With every rejection

I get stronger

you think you are ignoring me

and yet you are fueling me

your very actions are the strength that made me

that molded me to this

this woman

standing before you now

you must have forgotten that love cannot be destroyed

I too forgot

I too succumbed to the weight of fear

fearing myself

Running, hiding

Numbing

Shutting off all aspects of myself

Ignoring all aspects of myself

The very shunning and turning of your heads

That action, that behavior

I internalized

I watch and I followed

I did exactly what was shown

A faithful student

Committed to growing

To fitting in

To being seen

The way you wanted me to

I did exactly what was told

I did exactly what I was shown

I turned away from myself

I adapted

Thinking that was what was best

Needed

Necessary

It worked

Your efforts and energy

Your lessons

Your actions

That which you showed

Worked

I took them on

I took your ways on

With each action bringing me further and further and further away

From myself

Until I remembered

For the truth of who I am cannot be erased

Forgotten yes

Erased no

For the essence remains

And now I remember

It is only you who has forgotten

There is power here

In this remembering

This strength I meet here

Through which these words are shared

The essence remains

And this essence is

Free

Fierce

Wild

Full of love

I stand here in this remembering

I stand here in this knowing

This inner knowing

This truth

The truth of who I am

Unapologetically being me

Being, radiating, shining, sharing myself fully

Being ME

Me for there is no one else for me to be

And I have tried

I have been stuffed and crammed,

Hidden and shunned

Locked away from others and my own self

I allowed this

Allowed my voice to be silenced

I accepted your words, your view of me

Until now

Because in the forgetting, we remember

and I remember

this is an incredible gift to receive

and this one I will accept

fully

thank you for the opportunities to see myself

Your words give me strength

Your words are my strength

Feeding me

Feed me

As I inhale it all in

exhaling

Hear this roar

Hear me

ROAR