Getting Out of My Own Way

Here it is. Question 8, in the series of questions from my aunt that I began responding to back in January. This is the last question…

What do your answers tell you about planning for 2021?

Life itself, my experiences with life, living life continue to teach me to trust. Rather than plan, trust. Trust that all will arrive to me, for me, if it is meant to be. And that which is not necessary will drop away.

I have always had a thing with planning and expectations. When I expect, I have ideas in my mind about how things should be, how things should go and it never turns out the way I have it in my mind. Never. I have been so stuck to the image in my mind, the way it should be, I am so rigid in ensuring everything goes at it is ‘supposed to’ I was never present. I was so involved in my mind, that I was not present for what was happening around me. I was not experiencing life. I was either in the future, planning, devising, crafting how everything would be or I was in the past, thinking about how it did not go the way I wanted, intended, planned for it to be.

You know what I have found when I do not plan? Life is usually far better than I could have ever imagined. Yes, this is true, even when the thing or things that are happening do not feel good and provide pain and discomfort.

Everything always works out. It is designed to work out.  I know this. I have experienced this. I am currently experiencing this.  And in knowing this, I need to take action to get out of my own way. I have to stop my desire to control, to plan. Which is really all in service of knowing and controlling so I do not have to encounter the unknown. I am doing this by being aware, aware of when I want to step in. Noticing when something doesn’t feel right. These are the invitations that show up for me to see that I am seeking control rather than trusting and allowing. I know the known, I do not know the unknown. Why do I want to have more of the same? Why would I want to continue to ever repeating known?

I continue to step forward into the unknown and allow it to meet me.

Trust and allow.

Allow and trust.

Get out of my own way.

Listen in.

Pay attention to the signs and messages.

Listen in.

Get out of my own way.

Allow and trust.

Trust and allow.

I continue to step forward into the unknown and allow it to meet me.

In JOY with it all,

Sara