Be With The Intensity of Life

This piece was written on May 6th in my journal, I am typing it to share it here with you.

We cannot plan, speak, choose to not speak, to do based on what we think might happen, what could happen.  How it will be received.

This is the resistance, the resistance is here in the thinking, planning, wanting, projecting, controlling, seeking- something outside of ourselves.

We don’t ___________ because ___________.

I don’t ______________ because __________.

It is this fear of what might that is so strong, such a strong pull. This rejection, this alienation.

Look deeper – what is at the root? What is below? What is attached, holding this- holding yourself back?

Why are you holding yourself back from speaking, acting, doing?

If all that you care about- if this is what you have studied and prepared for then why not speak? What will happen? What is the worst that will happen?

What someone says is not the way- not the way- not the only way.

It doesn’t have to be fair, right, wrong- your way or my way

It is what needs to happen-

What is necessary- without attachment, judgement, emotion, fear?

What is being called to action, to be awakened, enlivened, acted upon?

This is it- this- this is how not living in the moment restrains us, holds us back, limits us.

It is this, this is why we live in the now, because it is the how the universe responds- gives back. This is what we feed into the universal field of energy- that which we put out.

This is the invitation I am being called to see.

The restriction, anxiety, fear, holding, is caused not by acting now- not speaking our hearts desire. Because there are so many should, what if’s.

Commit. Choose and all other will fall into place, fall in line, come together.

This is it. Choose, now. We have the choice now. Choose now then the universe realigns and rearranges.

Speak that which you want, which you see clearly, which your heart calls for.

Say it, sing it, allow it out- to be expressed, heard

Your deepest longing- call, allow Mother to hear you.

The resistance is energy, blocked energy. There is so much energy, it feels tight, heavy, dense, it is known. If it is known, then in it is availability to be used to transform. It is available for us to tap into- to access for us to shift as the catalyst.

The anxiety is the sign that there is energy that is there that wants to move. Move it. Use it productively, in a wise way- toward evolution.

This is the subtleness of Mangal (Mars) - anxiety and passion are so close, so close, so close in feeling.  It is passion, this knowing and it wants to flow, flow freely, not be restricted by thoughts, constructs of the mind, money, boundaries.

The resistance is present to show how much energy is there, ready to move to help you shift, to change, to release.

Resistance is suffering, resistance causes suffering.  There is no quick fix. There is no magic. It is about the decision, what is needed in the moment. Act in this moment, act in the need of the hour. Adapt to the current need.

The match to the flame. Strike, friction is needed.

It’s about speaking up for what wants to be said.

Fully and Free.

Like hear me roar. I wanted, I thought I would edit, revise, move pieces around so it flowed.

And I noticed last night while S was reading the piece, I witnessed that the piece ungulates like my own journey, gaining momentum, energy, voice, strength to speak up, stand up.

I did.

Then, I’d fall into self-doubt, worry. I’d debate myself, question. These are the fluctuations.

Be with the intensity of life. Be with all of life. All of life, the highs, the lows, the plateaus, all of it. Be here. Present. Not running away or avoiding.

Sit with it, be in it.

Knowing it will pass and the anticipation, the thinking of how or what it will be is the hardest part.

Being with it all and encouraging you to do the same- what else is there to do?

Sara