I Have Been Here Before

I know I have been fluctuating.  The dips, when you go in your breath is taken away, it takes a moment to realize what is happening. You gasp, your chest gets tight, then you remember, oh, this is what happens when I go in.

Recalling cold water dips, even when I chose to go in, when I am prepared for my breath to be taken away, it feels the same. 

It feels the same. Whether I am prepared or not, it feels the same.

I have been here before. Each time I arrive, or maybe it is more when I notice I am here, for sometimes it takes me a moment to realize this is where I am at, it feels the same.  For some reason, I would think, I would expect that it would change.

It is not the arrival or the noticing, it is what I do once there. Do I react? Do I respond? Both are actions. All choices are actions. To sit and stay in the space is a action. To do something about it is an action. What do I do?

Slowly, slowly, I am turning to my breath. I am turning inward and turning towards my breath.

“Breathe, it is what your body knows how to do.”

My friend Ria shared this with me once.  It is profound. Simple. True. My body knows how to breathe. It does it without me even thinking.

Ahhh, it does it without me even thinking.

No thought.

Do. No. Thing.

Breathe.

Taking one breathe at a time,

Sara